peevish mama

I’m not quite sure what happens to Doctor Dash when he’s faced with an unopened box of cereal or crackers, but whatever it is – it never ends well. Today I went to pour some fruit loops for Angel Baby and when I tipped the box over the bowl, they went flying everywhere in an avalanche of artificial fruit flavors. It was as if Toucan Sam had vomited all over my dining room table and what’s worse? When I untipped the box, half of its contents ended up trapped outside of the bag. The food stuck between the bag and the box? Like nails on a chalk board for me. Intolerable.

The box had been opened by Doctor Dash and was shredded beyond recognition, a huge gash traveling down the side of the cellophane. It’s as if unopened dry goods send him into an uncontrollable Lou Ferrigno moment and after a bout of painful temple rubbing and teeth gnashing, he ends up with superhuman strength and clams as hands. It drives me bananas. Especially when he mangles resealable bags. Faced with a zip lock, he will rip open the bottom. I just don’t get it. Normally, I’d say he has above average manual dexterity. He does these cool little pen and ink drawings from time to time. And he even performs actual medical procedures on real live human beings. 

What gives, man?