And the teeth, they just keep flying.

toothIt’s funny how you can go years and years and years and never once think about the fact that as humans, we go through two entire sets of teeth. But then you have a couple of elementary school-age kids and woah, all of a sudden, it’s ALL ABOUT wiggly teeth, triumphant extractions, bloody smiles, the tooth fairy and let’s be frank, cashola.

A couple days ago Saint James lost a tooth, one of his eye teeth, when biting into a sausage sandwich. Blame it on that crusty French bread. He dutifully tucked it into the shirt pocket of the mouse on the tooth pillow and under his pillow. The Tooth Fairy managed to show up, but she’s wondering, as the number of teeth rattling around in her jewelry box increases by the day, is this just getting gross? It seems so cruel to toss them, yet, aside from their almost unbelievably teensy wheensy size, they aren’t all that attractive to keep around. And will they really want these when they are older? Like, would I want my baby teeth? I’m thinking no. And aside from throwing them out or stashing them, what else could you do? Bury them? Yikes, that has scandalous murder investigation and false imprisonment written all over it! For the love of God! Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bury any teeth in your backyard! I keep thinking about that service that turns your cremated loved one into a diamond, but I have no time for the size of the diamond I’d scrape out of these tiny teeth. Now if that Arkansas woman with the 17 kids saved all the teeth, she might just be able to cobble together something worth flashing around the neighborhood Walmart. And not for nothing, but once you get beyond the front teeth, they actually do get bigger. It’s starting to feel a little ritualistic, even Jeffrey Dahmerish to keep collecting all these teeth. If I was some freaky potter, I would make an abstract sculpture representing the yin and yang of motherhood and I would stud it with all the baby teeth, but, alas, I am not. What do you do with the baby teeth?

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3 Responses to “And the teeth, they just keep flying.”

  • Mary Says:

    I have all the kids teeth, all still in each tiny little envelop they gave it to the tooth fairy in. You can have them if you need more to make something spectacular. Because I…have not idea what to do with them. Maybe compost them?

  • Marguerite Westfall Says:

    Hi Gaby,
    Urs told me to find you here! Baby teeth go in the trash…I think I might have James’ first tooth floating in a jewlery box somewhere. Everytime I see it: I think I must be a bad mother> not keeping all those baby teeth. I think you hit the nail on the head> how many teeth can you really keep? and what the hell are you gonna do with them? I vote for a few pictures of the jack-o-lantern smiles.
    Love you and kisses to your darling family,

  • Darren Says:

    insistent@comes.helluva” rel=”nofollow”>.…


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