peevish mama

On the last day of preschool, the teachers give  you all the stuff that’s been hanging on the walls: the laminated balloon with your kid’s birthday, the froggy with your kid’s name, the self portraits with giant smiling heads and stick bodies with too many fingers, and, apparently, the conversation bubbles from their unit on “jobs.” How did I miss this? How did I not know that my youngest child aspires to be a truck driver and a hair stylist? How does she even know about these jobs? It actually makes sense – marrying the princess with the brute aspects of her personality. It’s also a good idea when you think about it. If you botch someone’s hair, well, that’s a good time to hit the open road, leaving the mullets, pink hair and fried perms behind you like so many broken hearts. And just think of all those truck drivers, slumped behind sludgy cups of coffee and gelatinous wedges of pie, who could use a fresh and sassy little trim. She may single handedly put an end to trucker caps! I’m so proud.

In other crumpled up paper news, I found a well worn and folded piece of loose leaf on the counter which is always intriguing to me. Sometimes it’s a spelling test, but just as often it’s the bylaws for a secret club, or drawings of aliens, or the beginnings of a story, or a menacing letter to a sibling (keep your pows (sic) of (sic) my things!) I opened it up to discover a score sheet for a “DANCE OFF” which listed nearly all of the kids in Saint James’ class. They had some tough judges, as no one got more than 10 out of 30 points, except for a couple of boys. Saint James was listed as a “bonus feature” and when I asked him about it he shrugged: I didn’t want to be judged. I just wanted to dance. If you ask me, truer words were never spoken. I’m so proud.

And finally, you might want to keep your eyes peeled for a certain shady character named Norm G. Don’t be fooled by the bow tie and the little stache – this dude is baaaad. Honestly, I cannot imagine how Supergirl comes up with this stuff, but it amuses me, it really does.