Well as it turns out

shapeimage_2-2Tom Turkey isn’t as much of a bad ass motherfucker as we thought.  According to Saint James, his teacher misheard him when he was reading his story and Tom Turkey did not, in fact, kick the man in the nuts so much as peck the man in the nuts.  Everyone knows that’s a total pussy move for a turkey, although completely forgivable, given the incredible stress this time of year.  

What I wonder is – did Tom Turkey peck a man in the nuts or peck THE MAN in the nuts?  If he was sticking it to The Man by popping out of a toilet to peck him in the nuts, then I think we’ve got a ground breaking piece of social satire on our hands.  By censoring my little Upton Sinclair, his teacher is essentially perpetuating the oppression suffered by these big breasted fowl and silencing a brave new voice emerging on the side of the turkey.  Very uncool.  Imagine, for a moment, what it would feel like to be slaughtered, over-cooked, slathered in gravy and eaten on a mass scale by chubby Americans purportedly gathering to give thanks for their bounty.  Imagine your browned carcass ritualistically held aloft at tables rife with familial tensions, passive aggressive and regressive behaviors, and cringe-inducing verbal barbs by whoever has had too much wine.  It’s for the birds, I tell you.  Saint James is right on.  

Viva la Revolución!!!

Incidentally, I stopped by Saint James’ school last night to see if I could rescue the story from the trash, to no avail.  This makes me really sad.  I know men’s nuts and toilet humor aren’t appropriate for the classroom, but I also think a kid should never be shamed into throwing a three page carefully written piece of creative material into the garbage.  

This year I give thanks for the power and beauty of the written word, its ability to provoke, amuse, comfort, challenge, teach, evoke change, heal, maim -and for Saint James’ nascent understanding of this miracle

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